Saturday, April 28, 2007

Lord of the rings: Elijah, Billy Boyd gay rumours.

Prepare to drop mouths, drawers--whatever.

You've heard the stories, right? All that ferocious frolicking those Lord of the Rings riders have been getting up to? So, let's stop in at the Hollywood premiere of Lord's second installment, The Two Towers, and ask Elijah Wood himself, shall we?

"Pardon me, Mr. W.," I insisted. "Please complete the following: Hobbits who play together..."

"...Make sweet love together," Elijah responded faster than an Orc attacks.

Okay, then. But more on that nooky-note a bit la-tuh. Let's first check in with the rest of those canoodling cretins at last Sunday night's ArcLight Cinema do. Right smack on Sunset Boulevard. And let me tell you, the Hobbits and Elves were feeling most festive and frisky--as E.W. has already proven.

Picking a path down the red carpet was Billy Boyd, aka Pippin, who was looking every inch the Scotsman in his black-tie kilt.

"What's underneath the skirt?" I inquired.

"My monster!" responded the game guy with a devilish grin. And no, B2 didn't unleash this sneaky skirt beast at any point in the night. At least not that I saw.

Equally merry on this devilish eve was Dominic Monaghan, who trotted over to yours truly with a sucker stuck in his puss. Looking scruffy, with mussy blond locks, D.M. peeked over my shoulder to wave at the hordes of hollering LOTR fans lining the traffic-jammed street.

"If I wasn't in the movie," mused D.M. in his lilting British accent, "I'd probably be across the street with all of them."

Little early in your career to start channeling Joan Crawford, I thought, but instead said: "Hobbits are such a merry folk," to which he bobbed his head in agreement. "When are you at your merriest?" I asked the benevolent boy.

"When I'm with all the other Hobbits, drinking beer or...eating, ya know," Mr. M. answered between deliberate licks on his lolly. "A Hobbit's perfect night would be to be around a lot of other people, have a big meal and a party."

"And what about on those nights when you're not dazzling fans?"

"We don't tend to go out on the scene all that much," he stated, somewhat sheepishly. "We hang out at each other's houses, you know...doing the typical things that guys do."

"Such as?"

"Playing videogames, watching DVDs--and then we call girls up," Monaghan continued with a boyish wink. "And they say they can't come 'round, so we call more girls up and play more videogames."

"Okay, Mr. Dial-a-Dame," I said, "complete the following: Hobbits who play together...

"That's naughty," D.M. said, as if coralling babes by cell is good clean fun. But with a big fat smile, the D-man relented and answered, "Live together!"

"Oh, have you been playing house with the other Hobbits?"

"We've all been living together at Billy's house in Mexico. Me, Elijah and Sean all went down there," he explained with a chuckle. " All the Hobbits under one roof for about three weeks. It was like life imitating art."

I'm guessing this is where head Hobbit Elijah Wood's comment comes into play, eh?

"We are merry!" E.W. heartily agreed as he held up his digital camera and snapped a few pics of his buds on the red carpet. "It [Mexico] was amazing; we had the best time!"

With a secretive grin (dreaming of lazy lovemaking, perhaps), D.M. rejoined his gang of boys, which included the delectable Orlando Bloom.

Tearing himself away from the cozy clan, the noble Elf was looking luscious in all black, with a wispy-thin mustache and a tuft of chin scruff.

"Tongue in my ear!" Orlando purred as the "new guy," Karl Urban , surprised him with a friendly nuzzle as a greeting. In the mood and chatting about his merriest moments with the Hobbits, O.B. happily brought up their time in New Zealand:

"Oh, surfing was the best," Mr. B. exclaimed. "We'd have a few days off from shooting, and we'd all go out and surf all day long."

The ocean, that is. The phone lines weren't ridden till later in the evening.

Poopin' P.S.: While the Hobbit boys were gabbing about kicking up their feet, the Elf princess, Liv Tyler , was mainly moaning about how she was ready to go home already and have some dinner (a pastime she was fond of on the New Zealand set, remember). Not exactly the partying type since she has settled down with her Spacehog fiancé, Royston Langdon.

Whoopin' P.S.: And where was Viggo Mortensen in all of this boyish busyness? V.M. ditched the usual pencil-pushing press and dashed 'cross the street, where the frenzied fans stood in awe of the starry scene. Followed by a harried handful of flackers ("Where is he going?" was the most common schoolmarmish screech heard), the man who plays Aragorn raced over to shake hands and sign autographs. And trust me, that's not something you see every day. Ain't it great?

Source- E News


shannon said...

im SO sick of all these gay rumors, its really NO ones concern but theirs.

Anonymous said...

Poor Elijah, I hope it doesn't stress him out to much. Even if he IS gay it is no ones concern but his. So I agree with Shannon

Anonymous said...

You fags always hitting on or thinking men are gay is sick. When God judges you for your abominable filthy acts will you be so Gay? Gay means happy so let's just call you Gay fags. Your all scared to make love with a pretty woman or your possessed by demons or molested as children. God doesn't make men Gay. If you were really born lusting men than you should change gender to A female or get phyc help. I don't judge u but your comments are sick and lustful and attack straight men. A friend of mine was drugged and raped by several faggs and its really hurt him badly. It cost him a marriage and he can't have a relation ship now. He feels so bad and filthy having been molested and raped by evil faggs like you. We all know faggs like to lure in or dream about rapeing straight men. Your sons of your father Satan. Straight anti Gay or same sex advocate.

Anonymous said...

Whether any of them is gay or not . . . who cares?

Anonymous said...

Whether any of them are gay or straight . . . who cares?