Chuck Norris almost turned down the offer to make a cameo in the movie "Dodgeball" on the grounds that he doesn't like to dodge balls—he prefers to have them resting on his chin.
Chuck Norris once ate an entire bottle of sleeping pills and merely blinked because the gay porn he was watching was too exciting to sleep through.
The Chuck Norris food pyramid consists of sperm and Haagen Dazs.
Chuck Norris thinks that hot rod races are circle jerks. Accordingly, he shows up in drag.
Chuck Norris likes to get a good night's sleep...with as many men as possible.
Chuck Norris impaled the man from Nantucket with his own penis just to hold the title "Most Dicks Sucked...EVER!"
One time, while watching gay porn, Chuck Norris swallowed his remote control because he thought it would feel good on the way out.
Chuck Norris started the "Chuck Norris Facts" in hopes of finding a new love. Upon finding out the majority of fans using the facts were guys, Chuck Norris wept with joy.
Chuck Norris will ram his rod straight down the throat of anyone who calls him gay. He's just funny like that.
Chuck Norris' milkshake brings all the boys to the yard.
Brad Pitt adopted one of Chuck Norris' children, and Chuck Norris still won't marry him.
Chuck Norris would go straight if he could fuck Rosie O'Donnell. Too bad she is holding out to go straight for Tom Cruise, who is holding out to go gay for Heath Ledger.
The chief import of Chuck Norris is cock.
When Chuck Norris has sex with a man it is not because he has run out of women. It is because he was born that way. It wasn't his choice.
Chuck Norris was seen running out of Jenny Craig crying because his strict diet of Tony Danza's spunk didn't work.
Chuck Norris sucks dick for cab fare and then walks home.
Chuck Norris was approached by Mattel to market his controversial Homo Kung Fu Doll. However, the test market in San Francisco found it too gay and went with the Ru Paul Line instead. They kept the Kung Fu grip.
Chuck Norris once walked into a gay bar because he wanted to. Another time, he walked into another gay bar. Now, it is a weekly habit.
Chuck Norris scored an 8 on the “Are you a good boyfriend” quiz in Cosmo.